Journalism Is The Only Thinkable Alternative To

Oh, The Self-importance Of Fading Stars. Never Mind, They Will Be Black Holes One Day.

The More Necessary It Becomes To Stop Drinking, The More Impossible It Becomes To Stop.

When I Was A Boy, I Naively Thought That This Thing Called Happiness Would Be Something I Would Wake Up To Find Every Day Once I Could Smoke, Drink And Fornicate.

It's One Thing To Ask Your Bank Manager For An Overdraft To Buy 500 Begonias For The Borders In Haslemere, But Quite Another To Seek Financial Succour To Avail Oneself Of The 5-2 They're Offering On Lie De Bourbon For The St Leger.

My Misdeeds Are Accidental Happenings And Merely The Result Of Having Been In The Wrong Bar Or Bed At The Wrong Time, Say Most Days Between Midday And Midnight.