John Kerry Was The Big Winner In

More Details Coming Out About Michael Jackson. It Seems His 13-year-old Accuser Testified Before A Grand Jury That Michael Had Seven Locks On His Bedroom Door. See, What Happened Was Whenever Michael Would Install One Lock, The Kid Would Grow An Inch Taller, And He'd Have To Put In Another One, And Then Another One, And Then Another One.

It Is Day Two Of The Democratic Convention, And Apparently They Had A Huge Lighting Problem In The Convention Hall Today. They Worked All Day On It. They Still Couldn't Get President Obama Out Of Bill Clinton's Shadow.

It Seemed That After He Was Killed, Gadhafi's Body Was Stored At A Commercial Freezer At A Shopping Mall. It's One Thing To Hunt A Guy Down And Shoot Him Twice In The Head, But Then To Drag Him To The Mall? Come On, Guys Hate That.

In His Speech Last Night, John Kerry Said This Was The Beginning Of The End Of The Bush Administration. I Agree. Sure, It May Take Another Five Years, But This Is It.

On Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales Raised His Right Hand, Swore To Tell The Truth, And Then Everybody Had A Good Laugh And Went Back To What They Were Doing.