John Kerry Said Today He Wants To

If Any Job Should Give You A Company Car, It's The Car Bomb Business.

Here Is Your Government At Work. A Congressman From Colorado Said He Wants To Draft A Rule That Would Make It Unethical To Have A Sexual Relationship With An Intern. Only Congress Would Need A Rule To Tell Them Cheating On Their Wives Is Not Ethical. Don't We Have That Rule? I Believe It's Called The Sixth Commandment.

A Woman In Great Britain Has Died After Being Hit In The Back Of The Head By A Golf Ball, On The First Hole. Her Husband Was So Distraught, He Only Played The Front Nine.

Clinton's Pet Labrador, Buddy, Is Getting Neutered. The Dog Will Never Have Sex Again. Overnight, They've Turned Buddy From A Democrat Into A Republican.

The New York Police Department Says Iran Has Conducted Surveillance Inside New York City. They Say Iranian Operatives Are Using Special Mobile Surveillance Units. I Believe They're Called Taxi Cabs.