Jesse Ventura Is Basically Proof That The

If You're Seeing A Psychiatrist, You're Wasting Money Because All You've Got To Do Is Get On A Plane, Get On A Subway Tomorrow And, Inevitably, You're Going To Be Seated In Front Of Some Guy Who's Playing With Himself, And He'll Be Singing, 'happy Days Are Here Again.' I Tell You - When I See That Guy, I Feel Pretty Good About Myself.

When You're Done [with Writing A Book], People Tell You "well, Gee, I'm Not Interested." "great, I'm Glad I Sat Down And Wrote This!"

In My Lifetime, We've Gone From Eisenhower To George W. Bush. We've Gone From John F. Kennedy To Al Gore. If This Is Evolution, I Believe That In Twelve Years, We'll Be Voting For Plants.

Interesting Thing About Being Rich Is Once You Pay Your Taxes, You're Still Rich.

If You Listen To A Song And Get An Image In Your Head, And Then You Go Home And Watch Mtv And The Image They're Showing Is The Same As The One In Your Head, Kill Yourself. You're Better Off Coming Back As A Lobster.