I've Never Understood Why Women Love Cats.

They Always Say The Miss America Pageant Isn't A Beauty Contest, It's Really A Scholarship Program. If That's The Case, Why Don't We Just Put All The Contestants On 'jeopardy!' And Pick Miss America That Way? At Least You Get The Smartest One.

A Survey Says That American Workers Work The First Three Hours Every Day Just To Pay Their Taxes. So That's Why We Can't Get Anything Done In The Morning: We're Government Workers.

A Congressman Actually Apologized To Bp's Ceo For The Way The Company Has Been Treated. How Stupid Are You When The Ceo Of Bp Is In The Room And People Think You're The Moron?

It Seems That England's Royal Family Is Running Out Of Money. They Are Down To Just $1.6 Million. Well Sure, That's What Happens When Nobody In Your Family Has Had A Job For The Last Thousand Years.

Governor Gray Davis Has Asked The California State Supreme Court To Delay The October Recall Vote Because He Says That's Not Enough Time To Put On A Fair Election. Hey, Let Me Tell You Something. If We Didn't Need A Fair Election To Pick The President Of The United States, We Don't Need A Fair Election To Pick The Governor Of California.