I've Always Tried To Maintain That I

One Of My Life Goals Is To Be A Best Man. It's A Baller Position. You Get Drunk, You Make Speeches, And You Make Love To The Prettiest Bridesmaid, Usually Standing From Behind.

I Guess After College, I Just Got Really Into Food. I Also Think Going On The Road Doing Stand-up Makes You More Into Food. Because When You Travel Like That, One Of The Things To Do Is Find Really Good Places To Eat.

I Weirdly Do Consider Myself An Optimist About Love.

I'm Kind Of Obsessed With Food. I Like To Eat.

Others Fear What The Morrow May Bring. I Am Afraid Of What Happened Yesterday.