Ive Always Believed The Road Of Excess

I Was On My Bus, And On My Bus I Have A Yoga Swing. Jennifes Comes On, And She Goes, ' Hi, Woody, I'm J--- Is That A Sex Swing?' Her First Sentence To Me.

I’m Not A Twinkie Lover. I Don’t Do Sugar Or Dairy Either.

I Wish I'd Done 'dumb And Dumber.' I Was Offered The Part, But I Don't Think I'd Have Been Better Than Jeff Daniels Was. Another Film I Wish I'd Done Was 'jerry Maguire.'

When I Was In My Twenties And Just So Sexually Prolific, The First Time I Went To Machu Picchu, This Guy, A Spiritual Teacher, Says To Me, "when You Make Love, You Must Be Making Love." I Thought That Was The Greatest Advice I Had Ever Heard.

In Sixth Grade, Some Kid Was Being Inappropriate With A Girl. I Said He Better Stop. Next Thing Were Fighting. Then Were At The Principals Office. I Got Just As Much Punishment As He Did, Even Though I Felt I Did The Right Thing.