It's Wildly Irritating To Have Invented Something

Foul And Magical Fumes Bubbled Out Of The Kettle, Like The Flatulence Of A Dragon On A Demon-only Diet.

Charlie Had Sophie Strapped To His Chest Like A Terrorist Baby Bomb When He Came Down The Back Steps. She Had Just Gotten To The Point Where She Could Hold Up Her Head, So He Had Strapped Her In Face-out So She Could Look Around. The Way Her Arms And Legs Waved Around As Charlie Walked, She Looked As If She Was Skydiving And Using A Skinny Nerd As A Parachute.

Don't Be Ridiculous, Charlie, People Love The Parents Who Beat Their Kids In Department Stores. It's The Ones Who Just Let Their Kids Wreak Havoc That Everybody Hates.

Ooo Ahe-e, I Aya Oa A," She Said In Yawnspeak, A Language - Not Unlike Hawaiian - Known For Its Paucity Of Consonants.

Inside, I Was Like: "ha, Suck My Spiky Rubber Strap-on, Vampyre Hunter!