It's Very Rare That An Older Comedian

I've Actually Tried To Roast Somebody That I Don't Like, And It Doesn't Go Well. Either They're A Bad Sport Or I'm Not As Funny As I Could Be.

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.

Last Time I Was In Canada Celine Dion Had Just Given Birth To Identical Twins. Which Is Quite An Achievement Given Her Age And Face.

I Can't Defend Someone Else's Jokes. I Can Only Defend My Jokes, And I Have To Live With My Own Jokes.

Maybe I'm Corny, But I'm A Big Believer In Second Chances.