It Ain't What They Call You, It's

The Advantages Of Whiskey Over Dogs Are Legion. Whiskey Does Not Need To Be Periodically Wormed, It Does Not Need To Be Fed, It Never Requires A Special Kennel, It Has No Toenails To Be Clipped Or Coat To Be Stripped. Whiskey Sits Quietly In Its Special Nook Until You Want It. True, Whiskey Has A Nasty Habit Of Running Out, But Then So Does A Dog.

When We Have Lost Everything, Including Hope, Life Becomes A Disgrace, And Death A Duty.

My Heart Is A Bargain Today. Will You Take It?

Yes I Do Like Children ... Girl Children...about Eighteen Or Twenty.

I Like Thieves. Some Of My Best Friends Are Thieves. Why, Just Last Week We Had The President Of The Bank Over For Dinner.