Irony Deals With Opposites; It Has Nothing

If Helen Keller Had Psychic Ability, Would You Say She Had A Fourth Sense? What Year Did Jesus Think It Was?

The Good Lord Tripped Me Up Behind The Line Of Scrimmage.

Running Isn't A Sport Because Anyone Can Do It. Anything We Can All Do Can't Be A Sport. I Can Run, You Can Run. My Mother Can Run, You Don't See Her On The Cover Of Sports Illustrated Do You?

I Noticed That All The Prayers I Used To Offer To God, And All The Prayers I Now Offer To Joe Pesci, Are Being Answered At About The Same 50% Rate. Half The Time I Get What I Want, Half The Time I Don't... Same As The Four-leaf Clover And The Horseshoe...same As The Voodoo Lady Who Tells You Your Fortune By Squeezing The Goat's Testicles, It's All The Same: 50-50. So Just Pick Your Superstition, Sit Back, Make A Wish, And Enjoy Yourself.

'i Am' Is Reportedly The Shortest Sentence In The English Language. Could It Be That 'i Do' Is The Longest Sentence?