Inside Every Cynical Person, There Is A

I Try Not To See New Comics - Their Acts Or Their Films. Part Of That Is Professional. I Don't Want To Be Influenced. But Another Part Is Fear And Jealousy. I'm Afraid To See How Good They Might Be. I Don't Like That Emotion, But It's Part Of Me.

Dogs And Cats Get Put To Sleep; Hogs And Cows Get Slaughtered.

Not Only Do I Not Know What's Going On, I Wouldn't Know What To Do About It If I Did.

No One Knows What's Next, But Everybody Does It.

Y'ever Notice How You Never Seem To Get Laid On Thanksgiving? I Think It's Because All The Coats Are On The Bed.