In The Same Way, There Is Some

If You're A Comic, You Don't Have A Rehearsal Room; You Rehearse On Stage. My Main Concern Is Remembering Everything. I've Written Lots Of Material, But How Do You Memorise 90 Minutes? That's One Hell Of A Long Speech. I've Always Had Problems With That.

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.

I've Been Writing Since I Was Very Young, Even Before I Was A Teenager. As Far As I'm Concerned, I Am A Writer - Whether My Writing's Spoken Or Written In A Blog, Paper, Book Or Printed On The Side Of A Submarine.

I Don't Want To Do Panel Games Or Adverts. I Really Like Challenges. I Always Get Roles As An Art Teacher Or A Photographer. In The Future I Want To Play Something Like A Mugger/assassin/pastry Chef.

I'm Fascinated By How You'll Change Your Position So Many Times Over A Lifetime, But Really What You're Doing Is Occupying A Series Of Positions On A Landscape.