In My More Pompous Moments I Like

A Farm Is An Irregular Patch Of Nettles Bounded By Short-term Notes, Containing A Fool And His Wife Who Didn't Know Enough To Stay In The City.

The Main Obligation Is To Amuse Yourself.

I'm Half Scotch-irish On Both Sides, And When I Lose My Temper-brother, I Go.

The Worst Disgrace That Can Befall A Producer Is An Unkind Notice From A New York Reviewer. When This Happens, The Producer Becomes A Pariah In Hollywood. He Is Shunned By His Friends, Thrown Into Bankruptcy, And Like A Japanese Electing Hara-kiri, He Commits Suttee.

As For Consulting A Dentist Regularly, My Punctuality Practically Amounted To A Fetish. Every Twelve Years I Would Drop Whatever I Was Doing And Allow Wild Caucasian Ponies To Drag Me To A Reputable Orthodontist.