In My Early Days, I Didn't Know

I'm A Frustrated Stand-up Comic. If You Hand Me A Microphone And I Get One Laugh, Then I'll Go On For 20 Minutes.

I'm A Sort Of Boy Next Door. If That Boy Has A Good Scriptwriter.

If You Held A Pistol At My Head, I Couldn't Tell You Who They're Going To Vote For Best Actor.

Growing Up, There Was Only Classical Music On Bbc Radio. We Had To Listen To The American Forces Network In Germany, Which Played Pop Songs, Or The Pirate Radio Boats Off The Coast.

I'm Hoping There's An Afterlife. As You Get Older, You Hope Even More Fervently.