In America, We Like Everyone To Know

Women Get A Little More Excited About New Year's Eve Than Men Do. It's Like An Excuse: You Drink Too Much, You Make A Lot Of Promises You're Not Going To Keep; The Next Morning As Soon As You Wake Up You Start Breaking Them. For Men, We Just Call That A Date.

Worried About An Irs Audit? Avoid What's Called A Red Flag. That's Something The Irs Always Looks For. For Example, Say You Have Some Money Left In Your Bank Account After Paying Taxes. That's A Red Flag

Politics Is Just Show Business For Ugly People.

On 'meet The Press' Yesterday President Bush Was Asked What He Would Do If He Lost The Election And Bush Said, ''phhh, You Mean Like Last Time?'

Heating Bills This Winter Are The Highest They've Been In Five Years, But President Bush Has A Plan To Combat Rising Bills. It's Called Global Warming.