In A New Issue Of Esquire Magazine,

Before We Give The Government Any More Money, Show Us Some Receipts.

This Week The White House Proposed Fingerprinting And Photographing Foreign Visitors So They Can Do Background Checks. Officials In Saudi Arabia Said This Will Only Increase Anti-american Feelings In The Mideast. Is That Possible? Gee, You Hate To Have People Dislike Us For No Reason. Things Were Going So Well.

"i Am Not Just Another Notch On Your Belt?" She Asked Him. "of Course Not." He Said As He Put A Mark On The Chalkboard.

Today The Secretary Of State Said That Of The 247 Candidates, So Far 115 Of Them Have Been Certified. How Embarrassing Is That? Imagine If You Were Turned Down Because You Didn't Meet The High Standards Set By Larry Flynt And Gallagher.

If You Give Everybody A Slice Of Pie, You Will Still Have More Than Enough.