I'm Planning, You See, To Try To

My Discovery Of Tarkovsky's First Film Was Like A Miracle. Suddenly, I Found Myself Standing At The Door Of A Room The Keys Of Which Had, Until Then, Never Been Given To Me. It Was A Room I Had Always Wanted To Enter And Where He Was Moving Freely And Fully At Ease.

No Form Of Art Goes Beyond Ordinary Consciousness As Film Does, Straight To Our Emotions, Deep Into The Twilight Room Of The Soul.

I Want To Stop. I Want To Stay On Fårö, And Read The Books I Haven’t Read, Find Out Things I Haven’t Yet Found Out. I Want To Write Things I Haven’t Written. To Listen To Music, And Talk To My Neighbors. To Live Together With My Wife A Very Calm, Very Secure, Very Lazy Existence, For The Rest Of My Life.

When You Feel Perpetually Unmotivated, You Start Questioning Your Existence In An Unhealthy Way; Everything Becomes A Pseudo Intellectual Question You Have No Interest In Responding Whatsoever. This Whole Process Becomes Your Very Skin And It Does Not Merely Affect You; It Actually Defines You. So, You See Yourself As A Shadowy Figure Unworthy Of Developing Interest, Unworthy Of Wondering About The World - Profoundly Unworthy In Every Sense And Deeply Absent In Your Very Presence.

I Have A Lot Of Tics And Phobias. I Hate To Travel. I Hate To Go To Festivals. I Hate It When Somebody Gets Close Behind Me. I'm Scared Of The Darkness. I Hate Open Doors.