I'm Not Like A Performer Type.

I Have An Imagination Because My Life Is So Boring That My Imagination Lets Me Get Off The Reality Of What's Going On.

When I First Saw A Strap On, I Put It On My Head And Ran Around Like A Rhino.

Men Are Having Sex With Animals And We Wonder Why The Animals Attack Us. And I'll Tell You Why: It's Cuz Of That One Sick Man, And It's Up To Me And A Half-mexican To Stop Him.

I Don't Have A Girlfriend But Sometimes I Like To Pretend I Do. I Just Stand In My Apartment Screaming No, That's Not What I Said!

I'm Sitting In The Bus Station, Minding My Own Business, Reading 'ta-da!' Magazine; A Magazine By And For Gay Magicians, But That's A Different Story.