I'm Doing Stuff On Kaballah And Scientology

I Was Going To Get An Abortion The Other Day. I Totally Wanted An Abortion. And It Turns Out I Was Just Thirsty.

Comics Who Grew Up Surviving Their Childhood By Being Able To Be The First One To Make The Joke About Their Weight Or Their Hairy Arms - Like Me - Whatever They're Insecure About, Whatever They're Apologizing For, That Becomes Their Strength.

In Your Twenties, I Think You Should Have All Of The Sex That You're Inclined To Have, As Long As You're Safe About It. Use Condoms And Everything. Go With Your Instincts. This Is The Time To Have A Lot Of Sex And Do Drugs. But Make Sure You Live Through It.

One Of The Greatest Things My Therapist Said To Me ... And It Really Blew My Mind In The Greatest Way, He Just Said, "look In The Mirror Less."

I Mean, I Love Being With Friends And I Love Kissing And Loving Someone To Pieces. But It's Hard To Find Someone Who Doesn't Ultimately Start Judging You And Your Choices.