I'm Attracted To Heartbreakers.

There's Always 30 Or 40 Christians Standing Around, Saying, "it's A Shame That He Has To Die." And Jesus Is Saying, "well, Maybe I Wouldn't Have To If Somebody Would Get A Ladder And Pair Of Pliers!!"

I Have Lived A Carnal Life. My View Of Life Is 'if You're Going To Miss Heaven, Why Miss It By Two Inches? Miss It!' I Don't Have To Go Through The Thing Of Paying For It In The Next Life. I Know I'm Screwed In The Next Life.

Real Comedy Doesn't Just Make People Laugh And Think, But Makes Them Laugh And Change.

There's No Happy Ending To Cocaine. You Either Die, You Go To Jail, Or Else You Run Out.

I Don't Worry About Terrorism. I Was Married For Two Years.