Illinois Is The Only State Where The

Final Installment Of Things More Fun Than Reading The Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving Into A Tree, Microwaving Your Head, And Getting Stabbed In The Eye With A Carrot.

Honey, What Happened To "ladies First"? Husband Replies, "that's The Reason Why The Worlds A Mess Today, Because A Lady Went First!"

We Have Defeated Saddam Hussein And Iraq. The Good News Is Iraq Is Ours, And The Bad News Is Iraq Is Ours.

I Like That Sarah Palin. She Looks Like The Flight Attendant Who Won't Give You A Second Can Of Pepsi ... She Looks Like The Nurse Who Weighs You And Then Makes You Sit Alone In Your Underwear For 20 Minutes ... She Looks Like A Real Estate Agent Whose Picture You See On The Bus Stop Bench ... She Looks Like The Hygienist Who Makes You Feel Guilty About Not Flossing ... She Looks Like The Relieved Mom In A Tide Commercial.

They Have Dog Food For Constipated Dogs. If Your Dog Is Constipated, Why Screw Up A Good Thing? Stay Indoors And Let 'em Bloat!