If You Take Off Your Pants And

Sometimes It's Hard To Tell If A Joke Is Working Or Not For The First Couple Of Minutes.

I Keep Getting These People At My Shows Who Only Know Me From Television. I Can Always Tell When They're, Like, Emotionally Flinching When I Start Doing My Jokes.

I Tell You One Thing That's Great About Children. They Don't Need A Show To Have Fun. What Do They Need? A Book Of Matches, Some Oily Rags, A Little Brother... That's All They Need.

Is She Crazy, Like It Says On Her Bracelet, Or Is She Just Looking At My Sheets? I Dunno!

Don't Get Me Wrong, I Like To Cuddle. But There Is Such A Fine Line Between Cuddling And Holding Someone Down So That They Can't Get Away.