If You Read My Short Stories, There's

Sometimes I Lie In Bed Trying To Decide Which Of My Friends I Truly Care About, And I Always Come To The Same Conclusion: None Of Them. I Thought These Were Just My Starter Friends And The Real Ones Would Come Along Later. But No. These Are My Real Friends.

She Bludgeoned Me With A Look Of Such Limitless Compassion That I Immediately Began To Cry.

La Isn’t A Walking City, Or A Subway City, So If Someone Isn’t In My House Or My Car We’ll Never Be Together, Not Even For A Moment. And Just To Be Absolutely Sure Of That, When I Leave My Car My Iphone Escorts Me, Letting Everyone Else In The Post Office Know That I’m Not Really With Them, I’m With My Own People, Who Are So Hilarious That I Can’t Help Smiling To Myself As I Text Them Back.

He Seemed To Be Waiting For Me To Move Forward. Weren't We All.

When I Was Very Little, I Probably Wanted To Be More Normal. I Probably Wanted The Laura Ashley Bedroom, And Instead I Got Thrift-store Everything.