If You Live Far Away From A

My Grandmother Died Of Natural Causes. Or As My Family Calls It Murdered By The Lord.

Listening To Evanescence Makes Me Want To Break Up With A Girl In Real Time As A Giant Antique Hourglass Falls To The Floor In Slow Motion.

I Found Someones Passport On The Ground Tonight. Where Do You Sell These Things?

I Always Wanted To Be A Snake. Every Time I Saw A Snake On Tv. I'd Always Say 'why Not Me?'

When I Have A Really Hot Date At A Show, I Definitely Make It A Point To Use Her Name. The Girls Really Love That.