If You Have Any Trouble Sounding Condescending,

If You Want Success, Figure Out The Price, Then Pay It.

If You Haven't Already Told Your Kids 'don't Fellate The President' Then You're Probably A Bad Parent.

You're Thinking I'm One Of Those Wise-ass California Vegetarians Who Is Going To Tell You That Eating A Few Strips Of Bacon Is Bad For Your Health. I'm Not. I Say Its A Free Country And You Should Be Able To Kill Yourself At Any Rate You Choose, As Long As Your Cold Dead Body Is Not Blocking My Driveway.

The Human Population Is 90% Gullible, Violence-prone Dipshits.

We Know The Goats Are Imported Because They Don't Speak English.