If Lawyers Are Disbarred And Clergymen Defrocked,

Hey! Who Stole My Collection Of Used Bandages?! And They Also Got Away With My Nude Pictures Of Ernest Borgnine!

What Exactly Is 'viewer Discretion'? If Viewers Had Discretion, Most Television Shows Would Not Be On The Air.

I Don't Like The Phrase Shock Value. Surprise Is Essential In Comedy, And If People Are Shocked By What I Consider Merely Surprising, Then That's Their Shock. But There Is No Joke Without Surprise.

Language Is A Tool For Concealing The Truth. If We Could Read Each Other's Minds, This Would Be A Horror Show.

I Just Love It When I Hear A Little Commotion, Someone Leaving. When I See Those Doors In The Back . . .