If Laughter Is The Best Medicine, I

Look, I Made A Commitment To Corn 17 Years Ago. Sure, I'm A Man. I Like To Go To A Barbecue And See Beans That I Like: Baked Beans, Red Beans, Black Beans, Big Plump Garbanzos. But In The End, I Always Come Home To My Sweet, Sweet Corn.

I Love Comedy And I Would Write Things To Myself As An Exercise In Writing. I Didn't Do Well For Years, And I Quit. I Started To Break Down Why I Was Afraid And Started To Look At People I Admired, Like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin And All.

Whoever Is My Relative, I Will Not Be Nice To Them.

George: Why've You Had A Grudge Against Your Brother For 15 Years? Benny: We Lopezes Are A Proud People... George: You Have A Birthday Lunch At Denny's Every Month. We're Not That Proud!

I Grew Up Not Having A Father. Golf Is The Father I Never Had. It Taught Me Honesty And Respect And Discipline And It Taught Me To Control My Temperament.