If I Were Gay, You Know. I

I'm The One Usually Wearing The Dress, Which Is What I Would've Preferred, But They Wouldn't Let Me. It's Been 15 Years Since I Did That And My Ass Isn't As Good As It Used To Be.

At Princeton I Wrote My Junior Paper On Virginia Woolf, And For My Senior Thesis I Wrote On Samuel Beckett. I Wrote Some About "between The Acts" And "mrs. Dalloway'' But Mostly About "to The Lighthouse." With Beckett I Focused, Perversely, On His Novels, "molloy," "malone Dies," And "the Unnamable." That's When I Decided I Should Never Write Again.

I Lost My Virginity When I Was 14. And I Haven't Been Able To Find It.

I Reread "ball Four" By Jim Bouton, The Father Of All Sports Books. Aside From That, And Books Like "out Of Their League" By Dave Meggyesy, Sports Books Generally Pull Their Punches.

Our Human Nature Is Exactly The Same As It Was 500 Years Ago, Let Alone Five Years Ago.