If I Had A Time Machine I

It's Interesting, Because I Tend To Trust A Man With Big Ears.

When It Comes To War, We Focus More On The Mainstream Coverage Of The Event, Rather Than The Event Itself. People Dying Is Never Funny. Protest Puppets Are Always Funny.

It's Much Easier To Make Jokes About Sensitive Issues If There Is Some Dissent, Some Conflict.

I Have A Keurig Coffee Maker, Which Is Really Kind Of A Luxury. It Was Given To Me By An Ex. I Realized When I'm Feeling Sentimental, I'll Gently, Tenderly Press The Button. Then When I Remember He Dumped Me, I Punch It.

I Still Don't Know How To Cook And That's Just Unacceptable.