I'd Love To Have A Shitty Job.

I Did A Show In New Jersey In The Auditorium Of A Technical High School ... Technical High School, That's Where Dreams Are Narrowed Down. We Tell Our Children, "you Can Do Anything You Want." Their Whole Lives. "you Can Do Anything!" But This Place, We Take Kids - They're 15, They're Young - And We Tell Them, "you Can Do Eight Things. We Got It Down To Eight For You."

I Used To Like People More, But Now I Have Children And That Changes Your Life In A Lot Of Ways. Like You Spend Time With People You Never Would Have Chosen To Spend Time With, Not In A Million Years. I Spend Whole Days With People, I'm Like, "i Never Would Have Hung Out With You. I Didn't Choose You. Our Children Chose Each Other Based On No Criteria By The Way. They're The Same Size. They Don't Care Who They Make Me Hang Out With."

Life's Too Short To Be An Asshole, As An Employer Or As An Employee.

My Uncles Were All Funny. My Dad Wasn't Funny, But My Uncles Were All Funny. Now I Go Back And I Like Him Better Than Them, They Were Manipulative Funny.

I Don't Have A Brother In Real Life.