I Write [music] As A Sow Piddles.

What's Even Worse Than A Flute? - Two Flutes!

As I Love Mannheim, Mannheim Loves Me.

Music Must Never Offend The Ear, But Must Please The Listener, Or, In Other Words, Must Never Cease To Be Music.

To Win Applause One Must Write Stuff So Simple That A Coachman Might Sing It.

Music, In Even The Most Terrible Situations, Must Never Offend The Ear But Always Remain A Source Of Pleasure.