I Won't Be Going To Any New

Mind You, I've Always Been A Very Off-message Type Of Fat Broad; One Who Gladly Admits She Reached The Size She Is Now Solely Through Lack Of Discipline And Love Of Pleasure, And Who Rather Despises People (except Those With Proven Medical Conditions) Who Pretend That It Is Generally Otherwise.

Some Say That Cusk Has No Sense Of Humour, But Expecting Giggles From This Writer Would Be Akin To Expecting Sonnets From Benny Hill.

Tears Are Sometimes An Inappropriate Response To Death. When A Life Has Been Lived Completely Honestly, Completely Successfully, Or Just Completely, The Correct Response To Death's Perfect Punctuation Mark Is A Smile.

I Don't Really Care What People Tell Children - When You Believe In Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny And The Tooth Fairy, One More Fib Won't Hurt. But I Am Infuriated By The Growing Notion, Posited In Some Touchy-feely Quarters, That All Women Are, Or Can Be, Beautiful.

I Didn't Cry When I Left Free-booting, Smash-and-grab Papers That Would Have Appeared To Be Far More Natural Homes For Me And, At The Risk Of Being Vulgar, Paid Far Better For My Services.