I Wish It Was That Easy To

My Tendency To Make Up Stories And Lie Compulsively For The Sake Of My Own Amusement Takes Up A Good Portion Of My Day And Provides Me With A Peace Of Mind Not Easily Attainable In This Economic Climate.

Why Would You Go Out And Not Drink? Just Stay Home And Sit There.

I Met My First Midget In Mexico, And He Was A Waiter With A Sombrero On His Head, Filled With Chips And Salsa. Like I Was Gonna Let That Guy Get Away - I Don't Think So.

People Who Have Experience And Credentials, They Should Be Talking About That [donald Trump Presenting On Tv]. I Know Everybody Cares About Ratings, But Come On. The Whole World Is Watching.

It Became Clear When I Got In My Car That Persians Are Only Really Good For Two Things. Oil And Hummus.