I Was The Guy On The Swim

I Love Soft-cotton White T-shirts.

I Performed In A Bowling Alley Before While People Were Still Bowling. Cut The Check, And I Will Perform Anywhere.

Comedy's About Opening Up And Being Unique, But To A Point Where The Audience Can Relate To What You're Saying.

Any Hand That I’ve Shaken, Any Person That I Met When I Was Joe Blow, Now That I’m This Guy Kevin Hart, Has Come Back. That’s Why I Treat Everybody With Respect. I’m Always A Nice Pleasant Guy To Meet Because When They Come Back To You, They Remember.

I Ain't Never Called Nobody No Redskin. I've Never Been Mad, Like, 'get Out Of This Restaurant, You Redskin.'