I Was So Self-critical. I Still Am,

I Volunteered At Ucla's Occupational Therapy Ward, Where There Are Lots Of Kids With Autism And Emotional Problems. I Just Wanted To Prove To Myself That I Could Not Break Down And Cry At Everything, And That I Could Just Help Somebody Else. The One Thing I Really Remember Was That When We Would Take Them Out Of The Hospital For A Walk Around Campus, They Would Freak Out The Most When We Were Waiting For The Elevator. I Remember The Guy At The Elevator Said To Himself, "transitions Are The Hardest." And I Said To Myself, "transitions Are Always The Hardest."

I'm Not Used To Not Having Enough Time To Live With The Songs. Usually, If I Write Something, I Live With It For A Little While.

I Realized I Was Trying To Be Friends With Somebody Who I Used To Be With But Who I Didn't Get Along With. I'm Really Big On That. I Need To Be Friends With Everyone That I've Ever Had A Relationship With.

I Might Sound Crazy About This But, Years Ago, My Mom Told Me: "we Almost Died When You Were Born. Both Of Us." I Was A Caesarean Baby, And The Doctor Who Delivered Me Later Told Me, "i Opened Your Mother Up, And You Were Right There. It Freaked Me Out Because Everything Was Broken And Out-there." I've Thought About It A Lot - Could This Have Something To Do With The Fact That I'm Only Happy When I'm At Home And Alone? Maybe I Was Just Freaking Out For Two Weeks Before I Was Born, Feeling Really Insecure.

The Way I Feel About Music Is That There Is No Right And Wrong. Only True And False.