I Was Leafing Through A Magazine Where

Grandma Told Me Mama Was Once Caught By The Principal For Writing In The Front Of Her Book, "in Case Of Fire, Throw This In First." I Have Never Had So Much Respect For Mama As The Day I Heard This.

You Become About As Exciting As Your Food Blender. The Kids Come In, Look You In The Eye, And Ask If Anybody's Home.

The More I Think About It, The More There Is To Be Said For The Sloth. He Sleeps Fifteen To Eighteen Hours A Day And Is Known To Have Taken Forty-eight Days To Travel Four Miles. He Hangs In The Trees After He's Dead. But He Lives Longer Than The Cheetah.

People Usually Survive Their Illnesses, But The Paper Work Eventually Does Them In. Filing A Claim For Insurance Is Terminal.

House Guests Should Be Regarded As Perishables: Leave Them Out Too Long And They Go Bad.