I Was Doing Comedy In Laundry Mats

I'm Focused On Staying As Healthy As I Can So I Can Work More.

Time Machine... Wouldn't You Like To Travel Through Time? I Would. I'd Go Back... Mess With People. You Know What I Would Do? I Would Go Back To When My Mom And Dad Were Having Sex, To Have Me. Ya'know, Come In, Spank My Dad On The Ass I'm Your Son From The Future! Ahaha!

Three Weeks Ago One Of My Dreams Came True. I Finally Got To See Something I Always Wanted To Witness Live. I Finally Saw Someone Get Hit By A Car... Nailed!

If You Lie To A Person At Least Tell Someone Else You've Lied To The Truth. It Balances Out Your Karma.

When You Hand Someone A Camera, Why Do They Act Like You Just Asked Them To Dissemble A Bomb? They Take It And They're Like, 'what Do I Do ... I Don't Really ... Ha-huh ...' Yeah, It's The Button On The Top Right Where It Always Is Since The Beginning Of #*@! Time!