I Was Christmas Shopping And Ran Into

Thanksgiving Is The Day When You Turn To Another Family Member And Say, 'how Long Has Mom Been Drinking Like This?' My Mom, After Six Bloody Marys Looks At The Turkey And Goes, 'here, Kitty, Kitty.'

God Forbid I Should Be The Last One To Criticize, But I Think May Be Howard Dean Has A Bit Of A Problem Because Earlier Today During A Debate In New Hampshire, He Bit Off Joe Lieberman's Ear.

I'll Be Honest With You. It's Beginning To Look Like I'm Not Going To Get 'the Tonight Show.'

I'm Nothing If Not An Optimist.

There Are A Lot Of New York City Thanksgiving Traditions. For Example, A Lot Of New Yorkers Don't Buy The Frozen Thanksgiving Turkey. They Prefer To Buy The Bird Live And Then Push It In Front Of A Subway Train.