I Want To Go On Living After

Look At How A Single Candle Can Both Defy And Define The Darkness.

I'm Currently In The Middle Of A Depression. I Couldn't Really Tell You What Set It Off, But I Think It Stems From My Cowardice, Which Confronts Me At Every Turn.

They Mustn't Know My Despair, I Can't Let Them See The Wounds Which They Have Caused, I Couldn't Bear Their Sympathy And Their Kind-hearted Jokes, It Would Only Make Me Want To Scream All The More. If I Talk, Everyone Thinks I'm Showing Off; When I'm Silent They Think I'm Ridiculous; Rude If I Answer, Sly If I Get A Good Idea, Lazy If I'm Tired, Selfish If I Eat A Mouthful More Than I Should, Stupid, Cowardly, Crafty, Etc. Etc.

I Want To Go On Living Even After My Death, And Therefore I Am Grateful To God For Giving This Gift... Of Expressing All That Is In Me.

There's In People Simply An Urge To Destroy, An Urge To Kill, To Murder And Rage, And Until All Mankind, Without Exception, Undergoes A Great Change, Wars Will Be Waged, Everything That Has Been Built Up, Cultivated, And Grown Will Be Destroyed And Disfigured, After Which Mankind Will Have To Begin All Over Again