I Used To Be Stupid But I've

I Can't Memorize Names And Shake Hands At The Same Time.

I'm Surrendering Myself To The Realities Of The Internet.

In The Future, Airplanes Will Be Flown By A Dog And A Pilot. And The Dog's Job Will Be To Make Sure That If The Pilot Tries To Touch Any Of The Buttons, The Dog Bites Him.

And Bring Me A Hard Copy Of The Internet So I Can Do Some Serious Surfing.

You're Thinking I'm One Of Those Wise-ass California Vegetarians Who Is Going To Tell You That Eating A Few Strips Of Bacon Is Bad For Your Health. I'm Not. I Say Its A Free Country And You Should Be Able To Kill Yourself At Any Rate You Choose, As Long As Your Cold Dead Body Is Not Blocking My Driveway.