I Understand Tea Partyers' Anger With The

I Love Playing A Curmudgeon. I Just Love Playing A Sour Guy.

You Know How Some People Have Gay-dar? I Have Fat-dar. I Can Automatically Tell If You're Fat Or Not. And I Also Have Cerebral-palsy-dar.

I Get Burned Out On Standup. But I Like Acting. I Do Like It. But Sometimes You Just Feel Like A Monkey. You Just Feel Like A Complete Tool. But I Like It. I Do Like It. Stand-up Is Just More Free. A Lot More Freedom Because You Just Do What You Want To Do.

You Know You're Getting Fat When Your Socks Don't Fit.

I Am Not Into Publicity. I'm Not Good At It. I Get Anxiety About It.