I Thought Yesterday Was The First Day

A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night.

There Is Something Going On Now In Mexico That I Happen To Think Is Cruelty To Animals. What I'm Talking About, Of Course, Is Cat Juggling.

When I First Started Doing My Stand-up Act, I Played The Banjo, Did Comedy, Magic Tricks, Juggled, Read Poetry. I Stuck It All In. I Didn't Know You Were Supposed To Just Stand Up And Tell Jokes. Essentially, That's What My Act Became: Those Five Elements - Except I Dropped The Poetry.

I'm Not Trying To Be A Big Shot Or Anything Like That, But I Get My Drinks Half Price.

I Don't Watch Myself Gener­ally. I Do Something, See It Once, And Then I'll Probably Never See It Again Unless It's An Accident.