I Thought I Was Funny As A

My Doctor Told Me I Should Get Out Of Breath Three Times A Week, So I Took Up Smoking.

I've Never Been A Fan Of Euphemism.

When I Was At School You Got An Overall General Education, On Many Things, Even Just Basic Facts.

With Proper Acting, I Don't Know What I Would Play - I Got Sent A Script For A Play, And It Said In The Notes That My Proposed Character Was 'hideously Fat And Ugly'. That Made My Day. I Mean, I Do Know I Am No Oil Painting.

I'm Not A Flag Waver For Obesity. It's Not Healthy, And You Have A Crap Life Because There Is Such A Downer On It.