I Started Saying Things In Church That

Lick The Alphabet. It Makes You Appear Creative, It's An Easy Diagram To Remember, It's Like "aaaaa.... Beeeee.... Ceeee.

So Many People Counted On Me To Be The Party, I Had To Move Far Enough Away That They Wouldn't Want To Drive There.

So Many Of These Comics Are Just Frustrated Singers Or Actors - They Want To Get A Gig Doing A Sitcom. It's Paint-by-the-numbers Comedy, Lame Joke-telling. They're Drawn To It As A Career Move.

Real Comedy Doesn't Just Make People Laugh And Think, But Makes Them Laugh And Change.

I'd Rather Entertain People Than Offend Them.