I See Guys Who Can't Make 10

I Never Had The Confidence To Say I Was Going To Be In Front Of The Camera As A Comedian Until I Saw Eddie Murphy Years Later.

You Know, Some People Say Life Is Short And That You Could Get Hit By A Bus At Any Moment And That You Have To Live Each Day Like It's Your Last. Bullshit. Life Is Long. You're Probably Not Gonna Get Hit By A Bus. And You're Gonna Have To Live With The Choices You Make For The Next Fifty Years.

Comedians Tend To Find A Comfort Zone And Stay There And Do Lamer Versions Of Themselves For The Rest Of Their Career.

If You Can Keep Your Son Off The Pipe And Your Daughter Off The Pole, You're Ahead Of The Game.

When You Meet Somebody For The First Time, You're Not Meeting Them. You're Meeting Their Representative.