I Recently Went To A New Doctor

If You Want To Get Rid Of Counterfeit Money, Put It In The Collection Plate At Church.

I Don't Like The Phrase Shock Value. Surprise Is Essential In Comedy, And If People Are Shocked By What I Consider Merely Surprising, Then That's Their Shock. But There Is No Joke Without Surprise.

If You've Got A Cat And A Leg, You've Got A Happy Cat. If You've Got A Cat And Two Legs, You've Got A Party.

I've Never Been Quarantined. But The More I Look Around The More I Think It Might Not Be A Bad Idea.

Scientists Announced Today That They Have Discovered A Cure For Apathy. However, They Claim No One Has Shown The Slightest Interest In It.