I Once Looked In The Mirror At

I Had No Interest In Sports So I Didn't Make Friends In That Traditional Way Where Kids Are In Public School And They Go And They Join Clubs, And Play Sports. So I Kind Of Had To Find My Own Way To Make Friends And Get Attention And So I Just Was The Class Clown.

I Mean, I Understand That Because They're Disadvantaged That They Deserve Their Own Parking Spots, But Do They Have To Make Them So Wide? I Never Understood How These People Were Allowed To Drive Cars But They Get These Really Neat Chairs With Wheels And They're Still Not Happy, So Instead Of Parking Their Wheelchairs In The Designated Spots, They Upstage Us Normal People And Get The Best Parking Spots With Vehicles That Are Clearly Too Sophisticated For Them To Be Handling. Still, You Should Smile At A Cripple, Because It's The Only Bit Of Happiness They'll Ever Have.

Ya Know, Hitler Was This Evil, Evil Man. But With The World Bank And Israel Manipulating America, He Might Have Been On To Something.

I Was Originally Casted To Be In The Superman Movie But I Read The Script And Realized That It Was Mysteriously Similar To My Screenplay For Zach Braff The Movie.

Complete Garbage. It's Like Garden State, But In Outer Space.