I Never Wanted To Be Famous.

What's The Two Things They Tell You Are Healthiest To Eat? Chicken And Fish. You Know What You Should Do? Combine Them, Eat A Penguin.

I Watch The Discovery Channel, And You Know What I've Discovered? I Need A Girlfriend.

I Gotta Quit Smoking, Doctor's Orders, And The Drinking, Court Orders.

I Love Fear Factor, But I Think They're Running Out Of Fears. It's Only A Matter Of Time Before They're Sitting Around Doing Shots Of Hepatitis C.

When I Was A Kid, I Really Loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.