I Never Panic When I Get Lost.

The Time You Spend Grieving Over A Man Should Never Exceed The Amount Of Time You Actually Spent With Him

My Grandmother Was A Very Tough Woman. She Buried Three Husbands And Two Of Them Were Just Napping.

We Live In Los Angeles, Where You Are Expected To Move Every Two To Four Years, So People Can See How Well Your Career Is Going.

My Husband Is So Confident That When He Watches Sports On Television, He Thinks That If He Concentrates He Can Help His Team. If The Team Is In Trouble, He Coaches The Players From Our Living Room, And If They're Really In Trouble, I Have To Get Off The Phone In Case They Call Him.

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.